Hor Gao Gan

A lil' Gayness in everyone

2009-03-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Everybody starts the day with a shitty mood.
To the person who deem 7 hrs of sleep is sufficient, I hope you turn in your grave.
Hence, every single fucking person in the world will crave for happiness to make their day better, thus improving their quality of life.
An African orphan would search for whatever grains or water droplets that can make him happy.
A broke drug addict would steal money to buy drugs that can make him happy.
A mother would hope her kids get detention so she could have a noise free afternoon that can make her happy.
A certain Mr Gary Ng would film himself fucking some one so that he can feel happy.

gay

, noun, adverb –adjective

1.	having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.

www.dictionary.com

Thus I conclude that there is a lil' gayness in everyone.

Amazing

2009-03-02T05:54:00.000-08:00

People never cease to amaze.
How someone who inherited wealth and businesses,
will act all high and almighty.
Underneath you are just a nobody, hiding behind your vast wealth, in awe of MY frankness.
How someone who claim to be one of the pioneers in the industry,
give a half fuck answer to a business question.
How someone who claimed to be industry leaders allow themselves to multiple investments failures.
Just because your wealth is inherited, doesn't mean that you have earned it.
Would you have gotten to where you are now if you weren't born into a wealthy family?
Would you have gotten along with your neighbours if you dwell in a flat?
Would you still hide behind your wealth and pretentious knowledge about everything,
knowing that people are mocking at you?
Would you?
I Wouldn't.

I AM WHO I AM!

2009-03-02T05:37:00.000-08:00

I sincerely Fuck You.
FUCK YOU.

Unsung Heroes

2009-02-09T03:35:00.000-08:00

I am going to dedicate this blog to a kind-hearted man.

He sheltered me from the bus to the train station. For that i am grateful. Seriously grateful.

This particular incident showed me that kind people still exists, endangered though.
Kind people are usually forgotten and unnoticed.
From the kind taxi uncle who helped with the goods, to the kind person who gave the seat up for someone in need. The kind woman who helped a woman escape from prostitution and is now fearing for her life. The person who is a regular blood donor. And not forgetting the deceased who donated his/her organs, so that others may live on.

To T.T. Durai and Venerable Ming Yi,
I sincerely hope that you will burn in HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY and of course, HORGAOGAN!

-HGG

Sex: The greatest unification tool

2009-01-28T07:54:00.000-08:00

People make a hell lot of noise during sex. Except for mutes.

We communicate in English. The universal language. But we also have a common language, SEX.
A China man can have sex with an African tribeswoman. There are no barriers in sex as there are barriers in spoken languages. Hell, Lucifer can have sex with God's angels and a man can have sex with a dog.

During sex,
American Man: Oh Yeah. Who's Your DADDY?!!
American Man/Woman: You! You!

Japanese Porn Actor with small dick: Oooooooo. Aaaaaaah!
Japanese Porn Actress with big boobs: Yamateeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Ah Beng: Shiok Bo! My lan jiao Big or Not!
Ah Lian who is obviously not feeling his prick but wanna boost his ego: Big! Big! Shiok! Kan ni na! Hong Kan!

China boy: 叫我皇帝!!!! ( Call me emperor)
China girl: 皇帝!!!! (Emperor)

During orgasm,

American Man: OOOOOOOOOOOH Yeeahh!! OoooooooOH Yeah...........
American Man/Woman: MMMmmmmmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMMmm!!!

Japanese Porn Actor with small dick: Oooooooo. Aaaaaaah!
Japanese Porn Actress with big boobs: Eeer EEEEEERRR EEEEeeeR EEEERrrrr!!

Ah Beng: Wah Shiok! I Cum already. You got Come?
Ah Lian who obviously have not orgasm yet: Kan ni na!

China boy: 皇帝驾到!!!!!! ( The Emperor arrived)
China girl: 皇上万岁万岁万万岁!!!! ( A Thousand and thousands of years to the Emperor)

THE END

2008-12-30T09:22:00.001-08:00

31.12.08

It is the end.
Tomorrow marks a new day, a new year.
What would 2009 bring us?
Wars? Peace? Money? More Coke drinking sessions?

What did 2008 brought us?

Wars, misery, failures, Depression.

Not forgetting, 2008 brought us HORGAOGAN.BLOGSPOT.COM

May you motherfuckers enjoy 2009.

HGG

Drinking coke and doing a facial

2008-11-15T02:44:00.000-08:00

One of the best things in life is giving a girl a facial - not a real facial, but by giving her 1x hohseh with a 1x hohseh bukkake money shot on her face.

However, something I've learnt over the past few months is that shooting right into her mouth, or asking her to drink coke by sucking real hard is one of life's small pleasures. Nothing beats shooting your load into her mouth, apart from shooting your load in her of course, but that's also dangerous because that would mean $400 for an abortion.

Unless you horgaogan lah. If you horgaogan and you want the dog to cum in your mouth, then I have nothing to say, you deserve to get fucked by a dog.

So go out now and shoot your load in some girl's mouth!

Mother

2008-11-10T08:47:00.000-08:00

Mother. The person who brought us life, with help of a sperm.
Mother. The person who tolerated us, who loved us for who we are.
Mother. The person who loves us more than anything else, even when the whole world hates us.

Hence, the crudest of vulgarities are mostly directed to Mother.

Kan ni na: Hokkien. Shorter version of Kan ni na ma. To engage in a sexual intercourse with one's own mother.

Tiu lei lou mou chao hai: Cantonese. To engage in a sexual intercourse with one's own mother smelly vagina.

Son of a bitch: English. To describe the other person's mother as a dog.

Inspiration

2008-11-05T09:26:00.000-08:00

People need inspiration.

"One who pees into the wind wets himself"
Confucius

"One who sleeps with an itchy backside wakes up with a smelly finger."
Confucius

"If tomorrow is the same as today, we would not be any wiser."
HGG - Winter '08

2008-11-04T06:06:00.000-08:00

The standard of English amongst anonymous blog commenters never cease to amaze me - you get fuckwits telling you how fucked up your blog is, how bad your english is, and how "SUCK YOUR BLOG" is.

Yeah, how suck my blog is. How suck the world is. How suck your mother, who sucked your father, who in return how sucked you.

Suck my dick and call me Baby Jesus motherfuckers.

Let me put this in perspective for all you potential dog fuckers out there - my English is way better than yours. I churn out essays that puts your great-grandfather to shame, and even he wants to suck my dick, so don't bother telling me how "suck my blog is" because the only thing (or person, for that matter) who will do any sucking is your mother.

How apt the blog title, when used in this context.

Go get yourself fucked by a dog, or multiple dogs, and know your place in society - below me.

Education

2008-11-02T19:26:00.000-08:00

The Government have always stressed on the importance of having an all-rounded education. But they do not have to be worried, Kids nowadays are exposed to a wide spectrum of information and learning.

At a Kindergarden situated in a heartland.

Miss Tan:- Boy Boy, come recite the alphabet song i taught yesterday.
Boy Boy:- a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z,.. now i know my abc-s, won't you come and sing with me..
Miss Tan:- Very Good.

At a Playground after school

Girl Girl:- Hey Boy boy, What did you learn in school today?
Boy Boy:- I recited the alphabet song, Miss Tan say i'm very good. What about you?
Girl Girl:- Oh, this boy in school taught me a new alphabet song, Let me teach you.
Girl Girl:- a,b,c, kiam chye char lo ti. lo ti boh ho jiak, ah ma pang sai ko le jiak!
Loosely Translated:- a,b,c, salted vegetables fried with bread. the bread is not tasty, so grandma shitted for you to eat.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

2008-10-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

Man: 1 cock.
Woman: 2 breasts and 1 pussy.

Difference between man and woman: THINKING.

Miss Sunshine: Hmmm.. what should i wear for my date tonight?? Where are we going to eat.. How is my make-up.. blah blah blah.
Mr Moon: Will I have sex tonight.

Mrs Li: Today is my 20th wedding anniversary.. My hubby still look as handsome as ever.. I shall cook him a fantastic dinner and I shall surprise him with the new nightie i bought.. <3
Mr Li: Tonight is Man Utd Vs Liverpool. Must jio the kakhis out!

Miss Lian: Wah.. Look at all those soldiers.. so cool.. Men in uniform are sexy..
Recruit Chao: Knn! This stupid No.4 so hot.. Make me look like a tree.. How to jio girls in this?!!

Did you know that Men and Women have a similar body part.. Its called the nipples.
The only difference.. Men's nipples are non-functional.

The Period

2008-10-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

Period.
Never in the history of mankind has a single word caused so much dread
, hurt and sorrows to man and woman alike.

Man A:-Wah! Why that Susie's face so oor(black)? Like machiam BaoQingTian.
Man B:-Aiyah.. must be her PERIOD coming la..
Man A:-Alamak.. then we better siam her.

Recruit Tan:-Eh brudder.. Why your face so steam? You whole night never sleep ah?
Recruit Bala:-Aiyah.. Never sleep lo. Was thinking the whole night leh.
Recruit Tan:-Huh? Similanjiao? Thinking of who?
Recruit Bala:-Aiyah.. Girlfriend PERIOD haven't come yet.

Ah Huay:-I want to eat Mcdonald's Hotcakes NOW!!
Ah Huat:-But Darling, now only 12.30am
Ah Huay:-I WANT IT NOW!! I GOT PERIOD SO IM QUEEN!!
Ah Huat:-Knnbccb! Horgaogan la!

Girl C:-Pain..Pain..Pain..
Girl D:-Why you keep complaining pain??
Girl C:-PERIOD lo.

Thus, I rest my case. Period

The Very First Post

2008-10-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

HorGaoGan: Hokkien phrase. To engage in a sexual intercourse with a member of the canine species: You say what? You want limbei to treat u dinner? You go cross the road, find a dog and go HorGaoGan!!